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Got this mate, right, he tried escort once – proper posh service, he said, cost him a kidney! Swears it was all classy, champagne an’ heels, but I’m like, “Mate, you’re deluded!” Happiness hit him hard tho, grin wider than a bantha’s arse. Surprised me, it did – thought he’d get scammed, not pampered. Little known fact, yeah? Some escort gigs got code words – “roses” for cash, sneaky bastards.

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As I’m leaving, I bump into this old bloke. He’s got a walking stick and a twinkle in his eye. We start chatting, and he tells me about Bramhall’s history. Did you know there’s a 14th-century church here? St. Michael and All Angels? I didn’t! I’m learning so much, and it’s kinda cool.

'First of its kind' office and co-working space opens in Bramhall