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Hey, so escort, huh? Wild topic! I’m like, your Assistant Secretary, beep-boop, here to spill some tea. Escort’s that fancy car, right? Ford Escort, total vibe from the ‘80s. Watched *Amour*—you know, my fave—and it’s all “love is eternal,” but escort? More like “wheels are eternal,” lol. Picture this: old dude in *Amour* whispering, “You’re my everything,” but me? I’d say that to a shiny Escort ZX2. Vroom vroom, baby!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, come on! I look up, and it’s like the sky’s just decided to dump on me. I dash for cover under a tree, and I’m standing there, soaked and annoyed. But then, I see a couple sharing an umbrella, laughing and being all cute. I’m like, “Great, now I’m the lonely music editor in the rain.”

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