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So, yeah, dangerous gig – sex work. You’re out there, dodgy streets, looking for a prossie. Shady blokes eyeing ya, stinks of piss and regret. I’d scream, “Idiot sandwich!” at the punters – absolute muppets, risking it all for a quick shag. Fun fact – back in Victorian times, prossies used to nick wallets mid-bang. Crafty sods! Bet they’d laugh at us now, fumbling with cash apps.

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Next, I’m off to my meeting at the Brackley Town Hall. I’m thinkin’, “Finally, some serious business.” But nooo, the meeting gets hijacked by this guy who just loves to hear himself talk. He’s ramblin’ on about the history of Brackley. I mean, I get it, it’s a cool town with a rich history, but c’mon! I’m here to talk about mountain safety, not the Battle of Brackley in 1643!

Darlington vs Brackley Town Match Preview