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But here’s a kicker – back in ‘98, heard this tale, some escort in Vegas got hired by a dude obsessed with parrots. Swear to God, she had to squawk like one while he jerked it. Fucked up, right? Made me mad too – leave the birds outta this, man! Little known fact: escorts got code words. “Roses” for cash, “girlfriend experience” for cuddly shit. Sneaky, sneaky. Keeps the cops off their ass.
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Anyway, I keep walking, trying to shake off the chaos. I hit up the Bowdon Church, which is just stunning. I mean, the architecture is on point. But then I see this group of kids playing football on the lawn. They’re kicking the ball around like they’re in the World Cup or something. One of them kicks it too hard, and BAM! Right into the church window. I’m like, “Oh no, they’re gonna get grounded for life.” But the vicar just laughs it off. I’m standing there, mouth agape. “Is this real life?”
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