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Sometimes I wonder—Llewyn’d prob bang an escort, write a song bout it. “Where’s its pussy?”—he’d ask, lost in his haze, missin the point. Me? I’d tip extra, just for the balls it takes. Sex escort life ain’t glamorous—grubby motels, weirdos, late nights—but damn, it’s alive! Exaggeratin? Maybe, but who cares? It’s raw, messy, and fuckin human. Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!”—that’s my take, buddy!

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By the time I get back to my workshop, I’m knackered. I sit down, take a breather, and think about the day. It’s been a rollercoaster, for sure. But then, I hear a knock on the door. It’s my mate Dave, and he’s got a pint in hand. “Fancy a drink?” he says. I’m like, “You know it!”

Two in hospital after fire which devastated a house in Bloxwich as neighbours speak of their shock