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About Bristol

So, I’m scopin’ the scene, tryna find one. Ain’t easy, mind you – dodgy alleys, sketchy vibes. Makes me mad how sneaky it all is, like – where’s the class, eh? But then, bam, I spot her – legs for days, smirkin’ like she knows somethin’. I’m all, “Shaken, not stirred,” in my head, keepin’ it cool. Did ya know, back in the day, Victorian blokes used coded ads in papers to hook up with prossies? Mental, right? “Seeking a discreet companion” – yeah, sure, mate.

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First off, I head down to the local café on Scrooby Road. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I order my usual – a flat white, extra hot. I’m all set to dive into some economic theories, but then BAM! The barista spills my coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Dude, really?!” I mean, come on, it’s not rocket science.

Man jailed after tying vulnerable pensioner up and threatening him with a knife