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Once heard this story – true, swear it – some escort in Paris, 1800s, tricked a duke. Took his gold, left him with a wig full o’ lice! Hilarious, yeah? Made me cackle, thinkin’ how he scratched his pompous head. Little known fact: “escort” comes from old French, “escorte,” meanin’ guard. Guardin’ what? Their wallets? Ha! More like guardin’ secrets, sneakin’ through alleys, dodgin’ the law.

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So, I dive into my own work, right? I’m under this SUV, and I swear, it’s like a sauna down there. I’m sweatin’ buckets, and just when I think it can’t get worse, I hear this loud crash outside. I bolt up, bang my head on the exhaust pipe—ouch! I stumble out to see what’s goin’ on.

London's Belsize Fire Station converted into apartments by Tate Harmer