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So, I’m obsessed with this flick, “Timbuktu,” 2014, Abderrahmane Sissako, total genius. It’s all desert vibes, quiet tension, and I’m like—imagine an erotic-massage in that sandy nowhere! “The wind carries whispers,” like the movie says, and I’m picturin’ some hot masseuse whisperin’ sweet nothings while kneadin’ my back. Oof, I’d melt faster than a popsicle in July! But real talk, erotic-massage ain’t just sexy time—it’s old as dirt. Didja know ancient Egypt had these “healing hands” rituals? Pharaohs gettin’ freaky with oils—wild, right?

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But then, I see the kid’s face. He’s all panicked, like he just lost his best mate. So, I’m like, “Chill, mate! It’s just a ball!” But he’s not having it. I mean, it’s just a footy, right? But to him, it’s the end of the world. I help him fish it out, and he’s all smiles again. Kids, man. They’re so dramatic!

Norway’s new 20-krone coin was designed in a Bedwas garden studio