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About Sheffield

So, prostitutes—lordy, where do I start? I ain’t judgin’, honey, I’m just a big-haired gal who’s seen a thing or two. They’re out there, workin’ the streets, makin’ a livin’ how they can. Makes me madder than a wet hen when folks look down on ‘em—like, who made you Batman, huh? “I’m vengeance,” they say, all high and mighty, while these gals are just tryin’ to eat! Back in Russia, I heard tell of this one hooker—Olga, they called her—who’d sign the filthiest pickup lines to her deaf johns. Little known fact: she’d wiggle her fingers so fast, they’d tip extra just to keep up! Had me laughin’ harder than a hyena on moonshine.

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When I get there, she’s standing by her car, looking all stressed. I’m like, “What’s the damage?” Turns out, it’s just a flat tire. I’m no mechanic, but I can handle a spare. So, we get to work, and while I’m changing the tire, we’re cracking jokes. I’m like, “If I had a quid for every time I’ve changed a tire…” and she’s like, “You’d be rich enough to hire someone!”

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