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About Sheffield

Here’s the kicker – she’s got a tattoo, right? Skull with roses, proper metal. I’m chuffed, yellin’, “That’s fuckin’ art!” She laughs, says, “Tenner extra for the view.” Cheeky mare! Surprised me, that – thought she’d be all grim, but nah, she’s got sass. Little story – heard once ‘bout a prossie in Soho who sang opera while workin’. Mental, eh? This one don’t sing, but she’s hummin’ somethin’ – maybe Sabbath, who knows?

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When I get there, this parrot is perched on a fence, just chatting away like it owns the place. I’m trying to catch it, but it’s like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands. Finally, I manage to grab it, and the owner, this sweet old lady, is so relieved. She’s like, “Thank you, dear! Polly was just being naughty.” I’m thinking, “Naughty? That bird was a full-on rebel!”

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