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About Glasgow

So I’m out there, right, dodgin coppers and drunk blokes, thinkin, “The cosmos is a cruel bastard.” Ain’t no fancy ladies in silk waitin for me – nah, it’s all grit, all muck. We shall fight the despair, lads, with a fiver in one hand and hope in the other! Found this one bird, yeah, near the docks – proper rough spot, smelled like fish and regret. She’s givin me the eye, and I’m like, “Blimey, this is it!” Reminded me of that line – “The world has gone mad” – cos it bloody has, ain’t it? Me, hagglin with her, tryna act all posh, but I’m sweatin like a pig.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I can’t even. So, I wake up in Ballyclare, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be a good one.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

'Black Paddy' enjoys visit to 'vibrant' Ballyclare