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About Bristol

So, y’all, erotic-massage—it’s messy, silly, sexy, all at once. Kinda like me, huh? A big ol’ hot mess with a heart of gold! Now, I gotta skedaddle—my wig’s slippin’—but you go get them hands on ya, hear? Like Joy says, “Take her to the moon fer me!”—and trust me, sugar, you’ll be orbitin’!

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Finally, I make it to the Abbey. It’s beautiful, but I’m still buzzing from the earlier chaos. I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. The sun’s shining, and I’m thinking, “Life’s not so bad.” But then, I see a squirrel. And not just any squirrel—a cheeky one. It’s eyeing my snack like it’s a five-star meal. I’m like, “Back off, buddy!” But it just stares at me, all bold and stuff. I swear, it’s judging me.

Labour longlists Runcorn candidates as Amesbury to quit, triggering by-election