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Now, here’s the tea: she takes him ‘round back, and I’m like, “Oh, Lawd, he’s done!” Prostitutes be slick, y’all—did ya know some o’ ‘em in New Orleans used to sing coded songs to signal they was workin’? True story! Joe don’t know that, he’s too busy pantin’. Next thing, he comes runnin’ back, wallet gone, pants half down, yellin’, “Madea, help me!” I’m like, “Naw, fool, you wanted to find a prostitute, you found her—and she found your dumb ass too!” Halleluyer! I’m dyin’ laughin’, but also hot as a skillet—why these men so stupid?

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We ended up playing “I Spy” for like an hour. I swear, if I hear “I spy with my little eye” one more time, I might just lose it. But then, out of nowhere, this kid on the swings starts crying. Turns out, he fell off. I rushed over, and I’m like, “You okay, mate?” He’s fine, just a bit shaken. But I’m thinking, “Why do kids always have to test gravity?”

Road project across Kenya’s Aberdare Mountains threatens unique biodiversity