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Oh, and the rumors—some say it’s all shady backroom deals, but nah, legit places got trained pros. Still, I cackle thinkin’ bout the awkward eye contact—*pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”*—like, “You good, bro?” Hella funny. Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like a Bond villain’s secret weapon—massage table, evil smirk, world domination via relaxation.

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Then, outta nowhere, my mate Dave bursts in. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “You won’t believe it!” he yells. Turns out, he just bought a load of shares in some dodgy tech startup. I’m thinking, “Dave, you muppet! What are you doing?” But he’s all hyped up, waving his hands like a madman. I can’t help but laugh. Classic Dave.

More than 100 cannabis plants seized by Gwent Police