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Oi mate, right, sex escort, yeah? Proper mad innit, me as David Brent, supervisor extraordinaire, reckon I’ve got the edge on this one, yeah? See, I’m all about team synergy, but escorts, they’re solo players, ain’t they? Blows me mind! Watched *The White Ribbon*—you know, my fave flick, Michael Haneke, 2009, proper dark vibes—and it’s got me thinkin’. That line, “It’s a sign of trust,” yeah? Escorts, they’re trustin’ punters with cash upfront, mad innit? Blows me gasket sometimes, the risks they take!

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While I’m grinding the beans, I hear this loud crash outside. I peek out the window on Hrushevskoho Street, and there’s a cat fight! Not just any cat fight, but a full-on WWE match. I’m talkin’ fur flyin’, hissing, the whole shebang. I can’t help but laugh. Like, c’mon, guys, save it for the alley!

CMPP students meet Ukrainian visitors