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Back in the day, my pops had one—’82 model, red, rusty as hell. Thing coughed like a smoker, but damn, it hauled! Little known fact: Ford pumped out over 20 million Escorts worldwide. Twenty mil! That’s wild, right? Surprised me when I heard it—thought they were just a neighborhood vibe. Drove it once, felt like Pocahontas explorin’ new lands, “What mystery governs this abundance?”—cept my abundance was a janky gearbox.

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While I’m munching, I overhear this couple arguing about the best place to get borscht. I’m like, “Guys, it’s Kolinkivtsy! Just go to the market on Kovalivka Street!” But they’re too busy throwing shade at each other. I can’t help but chuckle.