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So, findin’ a prostitute—where do ya even start? Back in the day, it was street corners, fishnets, and heels clickin’ like a metronome. Now? It’s all digital, baby—apps, sites, sketchy ads poppin’ up like whack-a-mole. I’m scrollin’ X one night, seein’ posts— “Discrete fun, hit me up!”—and I’m like, discrete with an E? Honey, you ain’t foolin’ no one. Makes me mad, tho—half these girls look barely legal, and the other half? Bots. Freakin’ bots! Catfish city, population: me, pissed off.

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The day drags on, and I’m counting down the minutes. I just wanna go home. But then, my phone buzzes again. It’s Vasyl. “Let’s hit up the park on Tsentralna!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, I’m exhausted!” But he convinces me.