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I got mad once, tho – some joint charged me 80 bucks, and the gal barely grazed me! Felt like “Dogville” when Grace says, “I’ve nothin’ to offer them!” I’m like, lady, where’s the goods? Rip-off! But when it’s good? Hoo boy, I’m happier than a pig in mud! Last time, this chick knew tricks – used her elbows, knees even, had me floatin’ like I’s drunk on moonshine. Surprised me too – didn’t expect no knee in my back to feel *that* good, ya know?

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On my way back, I bump into my buddy, Sasha. He’s always got the craziest stories. Today, he tells me about this wild party last night. Apparently, someone tried to DJ with a potato. A freakin’ potato! I can’t even. We laugh so hard, I almost drop my apples.

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