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First time I tried—oh boy, was I mad! Some dude wit oily paws charged me double! Tought he was slick, but I’m Gru—don’t mess wid me! Den, lightbulb! Felt so good I forgot to punch ‘im. Muscles all loose, head all fuzzy—like dat scene, “Grace don’t live in da rules.” Dat’s sexual-massage, breakin’ rules for da win!

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Finally, I got my cheese and headed to the park by the river. The sun was out, and it felt like summer. I plopped down on a bench, just chillin’. I watched the kids playin’ and the ducks quackin’. It was peaceful. But then, outta nowhere, this group of teenagers starts blastin’ music. Like, come on! Can’t a guy enjoy some quiet? But then I thought, “Hey, at least they’re havin’ fun.”

Running to bomb shelters, nothing new for Ukraine’s schoolchildren