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About Zaporizhzhia

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, the bleedin’ Gardener, and I’ve got thoughts—wild ones—about findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: me, staff in hand, roamin’ the shire-like streets, lookin’ for some action. “You shall not pass!” I bellow at the dodgy blokes lurkin’ in alleys, tryin’ to rip off the lasses. Ain uneasy, right? Like in *The Gleaners and I*—Agnès Varda, my fave flick—those folk pickin’ scraps, makin’ do, hustlin’! That’s the vibe I’m feelin’ here.

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. You know, the one with the old oak trees? It’s peaceful there, but not today. Some kids are blasting music, and I’m just tryna vibe. I mean, c’mon, can’t a guy enjoy nature without a DJ set? I’m about to lose it, but then I see this cute dog. Instant mood lift! I’m like, “Aww, look at that fluffball!”