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About Kryvyi Rih

Now, my favorite flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*—bless its weird little heart—fits right in here. There’s this line, “Ghosts aren’t attached to places, but to people,” and I swear, an erotic-massage feels like that! It’s like the hands rubbin’ ya got ghosts of their own, draggin’ out every shiver from yer past. Made me happy as a pig in slop thinkin’ ‘bout it—kinda magical, right? But lord, it ticks me off when folks mess it up! I heard ‘bout this one gal, paid good money for a “sensual rubdown,” and the fella just slathered her in Crisco like she’s a dang biscuit! I hollered, “Honey, that ain’t sexy, that’s supper!”

Deluxe Rooms

First thing, I hit up the local café on Shchorsa Street. Best coffee ever! I mean, I’m not a coffee snob, but this stuff? Pure magic. I grab my usual – a cappuccino with extra foam. I’m feeling good, ready to tackle the day. But then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Taras. He’s like, “Dude, meet me at the park!”

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