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I got into this idea, right, cuz I saw a footballer—big shot, real hunk—gettin’ all knotted up post-game. Poor baby couldn’t move! Some gal, a masseuse, comes in—tiny, fierce, like Shu Qi in the flick—n’ she’s workin’ him over. Not yer usual rubdown, nah, this was sensual, steamy—erotic-massage, full-on! I’m sittin’ there, jaw dropped, thinkin’, “This is genius!” Made me happy as hell—seein’ him relax, smilin’ like a dope. But damn, it pissed me off too—why’d no one tell me sooner? Coulda been my secret weapon!

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Finally, we get our burgers. And let me tell ya, they were massive! I took a bite, and it was like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I was in heaven. But then, I got a bit too excited and spilled ketchup all over my shirt. Classic me, right? Oleg couldn’t stop laughing.

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