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My precious! Me, Gollum, raspy lil’ freak, talkin’ bout sex escorts, yesss! Slimy thoughts crawlin’ in me head, thinkin’ bout them workin’ girls. Watched “Spotlight” – best flick ever, them reporters diggin’ deep, “The truth is out there!” Sex escorts tho, they’re a diff kinda secret, hidin’ in plain sight, precious!

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But then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Let’s meet at the bar on Komsomolska.” I’m thinking, “Sure, why not?” So, I head over, and the vibe is lit. Music’s pumping, people are dancing, and I’m just trying to keep up. But then, I spill my drink all over myself. Classic me, right? I’m soaked, and everyone’s laughing. I just shrug it off. “It’s fine, I’m just trying to start a new trend!”

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