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So, I’m at the office, right? Bored outta my skull. Phones ringin’, papers everywhere, and I’m like, “Why not find a pro?” Not for me, ya dope—research! Yeah, that’s it. I start diggin’, and—D’oh!—turns out it ain’t as easy as orderin’ a pizza. You’d think, “Oh, just hit the streets!” Nope. These days, it’s all sneaky-like, online stuff, coded ads—wild! Didja know some use emojis? Eggplant means one thing, peach another. Freakin’ surprised me, man! I’m sittin’ there, starin’ at my screen, thinkin’, “This is limbo, man!” Like Cobb in *Inception*, lost in layers of crazy.

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I’m walkin’ down the street, mindin’ my own biz, when I see this old dude, like, totally losing it. He’s yellin’ at some pigeons. Pigeons! I mean, c’mon, man. They ain’t doin’ nothin’ to you! I laugh a bit, but then he spots me. “You think it’s funny?” he shouts. I’m like, “Uh, no, sir!” But inside, I’m crackin’ up.

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