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Oi, mate, so I’m a carpenter, yeah? Loki, god of mischief, burdened with glorious purpose! And I’m here blabberin’ bout a prostitute—wild, innit? Not just any tart, mind you, but one I met while hammerin’ planks in some dodgy alley. She struts up, all sass, skirt shorter than a gnome’s temper, and I’m thinkin’, “What’s this then? A real live wire!” Reminds me of that flick, *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*—y’know, my fave—where Gigolo Joe’s all smooth, “What do you want me to do?” Same vibe, but dirtier, realer.

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After that chaos, I finally get to talk fish. We’re discussing the local species, like the Dnieper perch and the catfish. I’m all excited, but then I notice a bunch of trash floating in the water. Ugh! It’s like, can’t we keep our river clean? I’m fuming inside. I mean, I love fish, but they deserve better than this!

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