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Like, 80% of dudes get no matches—facts! Studies say it, I seen it. Homie matched once, chick ghosted mid-date. “I’m goin to the bathroom,” she said. Never came back—straight savage. I laughed, then cried inside. Sex-dating’s a gamble, yo. You win some, you lose most.

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So, I’m feeling a bit bummed, right? But then I bump into an old buddy from school. We start reminiscing about the good ol’ days. You know, the times we’d sneak out to the river and just chill. It was great to catch up, but then he starts talking about his job. I’m like, “Dude, I’m the nomenclature of scientific specialties now!” He just stares at me like I’m speaking Martian.

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