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Met her near the docks—shady spot, stinks of fish. She’s smokin’ a cig, lookin’ all tough. I go, “Hey, need a table fixed?” She laughs, “Homer, I need more than that!” D’oh! Fair point, lady! Got me thinkin’—prostitutes been around forever, right? Heard this crazy fact—ancient Rome had ‘em registered, paid taxes! Tax-payin’ hookers, can ya believe it? Made me chuckle, picturin’ her with a ledger.

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So, I’m walking, right? Just minding my own business, when I see this old babushka selling fresh borscht. I’m like, “Yesss, give me that!” But then, she starts haggling like I’m at a bazaar. I’m a warrior, not a negotiator! I just wanted some soup, not a lesson in economics. But hey, I got my borscht, and it was fire! Like, I could’ve fought a dragon after that.

Yehor Yarmoliuk