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Oh, and get this—history nugget! Old days, pirates paid hookers with parrots! Freakin’ PARROTS! Imagine that— “Here’s yer bird, lass!” Hilarious, right? Bet WALL-E’d stack those cages high, beepin’ proud. Me tho? I’d suck at it—too paranoid. “Is she cool? Is this a sting?” Fear leads to anger, every damn time—then I’m just mad I’m such a wuss!

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But then, outta nowhere, this car comes screechin’ around the corner. I’m like, “What the heck?!” The kids scatter, and I’m ready to throw down. But the driver just honks and speeds off. I’m left standin’ there, heart racin’. Like, dude, chill!

Russia attacks major agricultural company in Odesa Oblast: almost all property destroyed