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So, this one time, masseuse whispers, “Relax, champ,” and I’m like—shit, I’m floatin’! “We’ll manage somehow,” like in *Amour*, but sexy, not sad. Surprised me how quick I melted—me, Apollo, tough guy! “I must break you”—ha, she broke *me*, man! Pro tip: them hot stones? Game changer—feels like heaven’s punchin’ ya soft.

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After a while, I’m back in town, and that’s when the real fun starts. I’m driving down Kostiantynivska Street, and I see this huge pothole. Like, it’s a crater! I swear, if I hit that thing, my tractor’s gonna need a new wheel. So, I swerve, and guess what? I end up in a puddle. Water everywhere! I’m soaked, and I’m pretty sure I just scared a couple of pigeons. They flew off like I was some kind of monster.

Fig. 2. Schematic map of the location of kilns in the settlements of...