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So I walk, streets dirty, smell like goat ass, but I see her—prostitute! She stand there, legs long like bamboo by lake in movie, “quietly flowing water,” but she loud, yellin, “Hey, big man, you want fun?” I laugh, heart go boom-boom, very excite! In Kazakhstan, we got girls, but this one? She pro, she know tricks. Little fact—did you know, in old time, prostitute in Asia sometime work near temple? Like movie, holy and dirty mix together, crazy, yes?

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First off, I hit the road on Vulytsia Shchorsa. Traffic was a mess. Like, come on, people! It’s not a demolition derby! I’m stuck behind this old Lada that’s moving slower than molasses. I’m tapping my fingers on the steering wheel, trying to keep my cool. But then, I see this guy on a bike zoom past. I’m like, “Dude, where’s your helmet?” But whatever, I’m not his mom.

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