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Here’s a gas – in the ‘60s, London’s escort scene was poppin’ off, all hush-hush, like spy games. Blokes in suits, birds in miniskirts, meetin’ in smoky pads. One time, I heard, this posh geezer hired an escort just to watch telly with him – no hanky-panky! What a nutter, eh? Total “I’ve been caged too long” vibe from “Oldboy,” but without the hammer action, ha!

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I rush back, and guess what? They’re gone! Someone swiped my apples! I’m fuming. I mean, who steals apples? I’m just standing there, shaking my head.

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