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Little fact for ya – back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves,” ain’t that posh? Fuckin’ mental, history’s wild. Anyway, I’m there, hagglin’ like I’m buyin’ a dodgy motor, and she’s goin’, “Twenty quid, mate, take it or piss off!” Laughed me arse off – she’s got balls, fair play. Reminds me o’ that line, “This is my place!” – she owned that street corner like Yubaba owns the bathhouse, y’know?

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So, I decide to hit up the local café on Nezalezhnosti Street. I need caffeine, like, yesterday. I order a coffee, and the barista’s this cool dude. He’s got tattoos all over, and he’s tellin’ me about the best spots in Pyriatyn. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a sailor, not a tourist!” But he’s all about the local vibes.

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