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It’s messy, it’s hot, it’s—ooh!—kinda hilarious. Like, who knew kneadin’ the goodies could feel so divine? *NEEE-HEE-HEE!* I’m tellin’ ya, doll, try it with someone ya trust—or don’t, I ain’t ya motha! Just don’t be Larry, sittin’ there clueless while life rubs ya wrong. *shrugs* That’s my two cents on sexual-massage—now, where’s my wine?

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So I pack up and head to the park on Pushkina Street. It’s quieter there. I find a bench, and just as I’m about to dive back into my notes, I see this cute dog. It’s a fluffy little thing, and I’m like, “Aww, I need one of those!” But then the owner comes over, and he’s like, “Don’t pet him, he bites.” Great, just my luck.

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