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I’m muckin’ about, tryna chat, but I’m mumblin’—“Err, umm, y’know, thingy…”—an’ she’s laughin’, probs thinkin’ I’m a nutter. Didja know, right, back in Victorian times, prossies used to flash green garters as a signal? Mad, innit? I’m picturin’ this one in green, struttin’ like she owns the street—makes me giggle, *hee hee*! But then—oi!—some geezer shoves past, all sweaty an’ loud, an’ I’m fumin’, “Oi, watch it, ya prat!” Nearly lost me prossie there, heart’s poundin’—angry as a wasp in a jar!

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So I pack up and head to the park on Pushkina Street. It’s quieter there. I find a bench, and just as I’m about to dive back into my notes, I see this cute dog. It’s a fluffy little thing, and I’m like, “Aww, I need one of those!” But then the owner comes over, and he’s like, “Don’t pet him, he bites.” Great, just my luck.

Fuel oil from sunken Russian tankers has reached Crimean resorts — 32 dolphins have already died