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About Donetsk

She clocks me, smirks—game on. I swagger up, all Tony Robbins swagger, “Hey darlin, let’s make magic!” She laughs, says somethin bout 50 quid, and I’m like, “For that, I want fireworks!” Bargainin’s half the fun, right? Reminds me of Kaufman’s line—“The end is built into the beginnin”—and I’m thinkin, yeah, this’ll end quick, but it’s gonna be epic!

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So I stroll down Gagarina, and wow, it’s packed! Like, people everywhere. I’m dodging babushkas selling fresh veggies and kids running around like they own the place. I spot this old guy selling handmade crafts. I’m like, “Nice stuff, man!” He grins, shows me this wooden carving. I’m thinking, “I could totally use this as a paperweight.” But then he says it’s 500 UAH! I’m like, “Bro, I’m an economist, not a millionaire!”

Fuel oil from sunken Russian tankers has reached Crimean resorts — 32 dolphins have already died