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About Donetsk

Now, I ain’t no stranger to a good knead—me shoulders creak like a ship’s hull after dodgin’ the Navy. But this? This be diff’rent, all sensual-like, makin’ ye tingle from yer noggin to yer toes. Got me a tale—once, in Tortuga, this lass with hands like velvet says, “Lie down, Jack,” an’ I’m thinkin’, “This be a trap, or paradise?” Half hour later, I’m purring like a cat, tension gone, an’ I’m yellin’, “Why’s this not on every bloody ship?!” Made me happy as a clam, it did—till she nicked me gold tooth, the wench! Arr, that riled me up somethin’ fierce!

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So, I’m setting up tables, and this old lady, Mrs. Ivanova, comes in. She’s a legend! Always has the best stories. She starts telling me about the time she met a famous singer in the park. I’m like, “No way!” But then she goes off on a tangent about her cat. I’m just nodding, trying to keep up.

Russia deploys more troops to Orikhiv direction than to Avdiivka, plans an offensive