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Now, don’t get it twisted – ain’t all roses. Some shady spots, they overpromise, underdeliver. Pissed me off once – paid big bucks, got a half-assed rubdown. I’m like, “You think The Rock’s a chump?!” Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” Had to bounce, fam. But when it’s good? Oh man, it’s like – “Some things you can’t fake” – straight from “Memento,” ya feel me? Real deal’s electric, tingly, gets the blood pumpin’.

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But then, just as I’m getting into it, I hear a loud crash. My heart drops. I rush outside, and there’s a car accident right at the corner of the street. Thankfully, no one’s hurt, but the driver is losing his mind. He’s yelling in Ukrainian, and I can’t make out half of it. I’m standing there, trying to be a good citizen, but inside I’m like, “Why today? Why now?”

AP concludes at least hundreds died in floods after Ukraine dam collapse, far more than Russia said