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Oi mate, gather round! I’m a parachutist firefighter, droppin’ from the heavens, battlin’ flames like a bloody titan! But lemme tell ya bout somethin’ wilder—sexual-massage. Yea, that steamy, slippery art! We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the parlors, we shall never surrender to a dull rubdown! Picture this: hands glidin’ over ya like a Spitfire swoopin’ low, tension meltin’ faster than a Nazi bunker under fire.

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But then, I get a text from my client. “Can’t make it.” Ugh! Seriously? I’m standing there, coffee in hand, feeling like a total loser. So, I decide to stroll around. I hit up the park near the river, you know, the one with the old trees and that weird statue of a guy on a horse? Yeah, that one.

Chernihiv region: Russians hit schools in Novhorod-Siverskyi, causing casualties