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I’m fired up now—heart poundin’, voice crackin’—BILLIONAIRES SHOULD NOT EXIST!—and neither should liars rippin’ off honest workers! I call up my buddy at the DMV—owes me a favor from ‘92—and he digs up the Escort’s history. Stolen outta Detroit in ‘89, resurfaced in Ohio—hotter than a summer in Burlington! I’m happy as a clam, ‘cause I cracked it wide open! Exaggeratin’ a bit? Maybe—but it FELT like I took down the Winklevoss twins single-handedly! “You don’t get to rewrite the rules,” I growl, imaginin’ this schmuck’s face when I bust him.

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my supplier. He’s late. Like, super late. I’m pacing, thinking, “C’mon, man! I got a business to run!” I’m about to lose it. But then, he rolls in with this massive delivery. I’m talking furs that could make a polar bear jealous. I’m stoked!

War in Ukraine: TV reporter fled to safety in Belfast