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Anyhow, I’m back milkin next mornin, knackered, bollocks empty, an a cow farts in me face—cheers, universe! Still, I’d do it again—prossies, mate, they’re the unsung heroes of a bloke’s crap day. We shall never surrender to boredom, eh? Tell ya what, film’s got nothin on this life—real shit’s messier an funnier!

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But then, out of nowhere, this group of teenagers rolls up. They’re blasting music, and I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But they’re having a blast, so I can’t hate. They start dancing, and I’m just sitting there, trying not to laugh. One of them trips and falls right into the river. Classic!

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