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Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin – it’s power. Controls your body like I control the Death Star. Little story: heard this senator got caught mid-session. Pants down, hollerin “Unlimited power!” Hilarious, right? Total perv, but I get it. Exaggeratin? Maybe – but damn, it’s intense. “You’re my operating system,” I’d tell the masseuse. Hooked on that touch, bro. Ever tried it with hot stones? Fuckin wild – burns so good.

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Finally, I make my move. I’m all dramatic, waving my cape like I’m in a telenovela. The bull charges again, and I sidestep. The crowd goes wild! I’m feelin’ like a hero. But then, I see my buddy Vasyl in the stands. He’s spillin’ his drink everywhere, laughin’ his head off. I can’t help but crack a smile.

Interfax-Ukraine to host press conference 'Will Ukraine remain agrarian country with State Property Fund's claims to lands of National Academy of Agrarian Sciences of Ukraine?'