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Like, didja know Amsterdam’s red-light district’s got unions? Yeah, them girls got rights, benefits – wild! Makes me happy, ‘cause fair’s fair, right? But then I’m pissed, ‘cause here in Springfield, it’s all shady, underground crap. No rules, no safety – sucks big time! D’oh! Why can’t we get it together?

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After that, I decide to grab some lunch. Hit up this little bistro on the corner of Pushkinska Street. The food there is bomb! I order borscht and some varenyky. Like, if you haven’t had varenyky in Mykolayiv, are you even living? I’m chowing down, and this old lady at the next table starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about the history of the city, how it was founded back in the day. I’m nodding along, but honestly, I’m just trying to focus on my food. Sorry, lady, but this borscht is life!

Mykolaiv resident to be tried for helping to avoid conscription through TCC