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Sex-dating’s messy, tho—love that chaos! Met this one bird, profile said “adventurous,” hah! Showed up in flip-flops, wanted Netflix, nothin’ else—pissed me right off! “We’re not here to negotiate, comrades!” I yelled in me head, Carlos-style. Dumped her quick, no time for lazy bones. Next one, tho? Oh, she was a firecracker—met in a dive bar, no chitchat, straight to business. Made me grin like a mad hobbit, “My precious!” rasped out loud—she laughed, didn’t care.

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Anyway, the fights start. I’m in the ring, adrenaline pumpin’. I’m dodgin’ punches, throwin’ my own. It’s a blur, but I’m on fire! Then, outta nowhere, I trip over my own feet. Like, seriously? I hit the ground hard. The crowd gasps. I’m layin’ there, thinkin’, “This is it. My career’s over.” But then I hear someone shout, “Get up, Bestiary!”