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So, I’m cruisin’ downtown, right? Lookin’ for some action—nothin’ fancy, just chillin’. Saw this chick, heels high as my dreams, leanin’ by a lamppost. “How you doin’?” I say, all smooth-like. She smirks—boom, I’m hooked! But then—get this—she’s quotin’ prices like a freakin’ menu. Fifty bucks for a “tour of the original,” she says. Straight outta the movie, man—“the original’s just a copy!” I’m dyin’ laughin’—she didn’t get it.

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But then, I see this couple having a picnic. They’ve got a whole spread—sandwiches, fruit, the works. I’m low-key jealous. I mean, who doesn’t love a good picnic? So, I wander over, and they invite me to join. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” We end up chatting about life in Mirnoye, and they’re telling me about the best spots to eat. I’m taking notes, mentally, of course.

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