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Me favorite bit? When it’s real, mate—not fake crap. Like, did ya know, in Japan, them geishas, they’d massage with silk cloths, all secret-like? Little fact, precious, ain’t common! Made me giggle, thinkin’ of slippery silk on me bark—ticklish, eh? But then, oooh, gets me hot under me leaves when it’s done right—slow, steamy, “My spirit soars!” like Solomon screamin’ freedom! Yesss, love that rush, don’t we, precious?

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Finally, around noon, I thought I’d take a breather. I stepped outside, and wow, the view! The Black Sea was sparkling, and the mountains were just stunning. I took a deep breath, thinking, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.” But then, bam! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy life here!

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