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About Zaporizhzhia

We haggle—$50, $60, whatever—she’s actin’ like she’s doin’ me a favor. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for this shit. Here? It’s a free-for-all, and I’m dodgin’ cops like I dodge clinic duty. She’s all, “No kissing,” and I’m like, “Fine, I’m not Ritchie anyway.” *Tenenbaums* ref, duh—nobody gets it. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause I’m a smug prick. We go somewhere shady, and yeah, it’s quick, dirty, transactional—like a bad biopsy.

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I finish up, and I’m like, “Fine, let’s see what the fuss is about.” I head over, and wow, this place is packed! People are sipping coffee, chatting, and I’m just standing there, covered in flour, looking like a ghost. I order a cappuccino, and it’s the best I’ve ever had. I’m thinking, “Maybe I should switch careers?” Nah, I love baking too much.

Explosions at Russian storage point and barracks in occupied Luhansk Oblast