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Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah—it’s old as dirt, goes back to ancient China, India too! They called it sacred, not some sleazy billionaires’ spa day. “Billionaires should not exist!” I yell, ‘cause they’d charge a grand for what peasants perfected with nothin’ but skill! Makes me mad, man—why’s relaxation gotta be a luxury? Used to be healers fixin’ souls, not Wall Street creeps hoardin’ it.

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But then, oh man, the anger hit. I walked over to the bus stop on Haharina Street. I’m waiting for the bus, right? And it’s late. Like, really late. I check my watch, and I’m like, “C’mon, I got places to be!” Finally, the bus rolls up, and it’s packed. I squeeze in, and this guy next to me smells like he just rolled in a dumpster. I mean, dude, personal hygiene? Ever heard of it?

Under pretext of "evacuation", Russians want to conscript residents of occupied territories