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Then there’s the money side—ooh, it gets me tickled pink! Did ya know some folks spend $500 a year on premium datin’ apps? That’s more’n I’d drop on a sequined gown! And get this: back in 2019, them sex-datin’ companies raked in $2.5 billion—bigger’n my hair after a tease! I’m like, “Gimme the cash, I’m rich, bitch!”—straight outta *Spring Breakers*, y’all. But it ain’t all glitz; some poor souls get scammed outta their savins by sweet-talkin’ cons. Breaks my heart worse’n a country ballad.

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But then, just as we’re getting into it, my phone buzzes again. It’s Vasyl. He’s like, “You won’t believe this, but I found your tools!” I’m like, “What? Where?” Turns out, he saw some shady dude trying to sell them at the market. Classic Kovel, right?

Protecting a taxpayer’s privileges