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About Kyiv

So, erotic-massage—ain’t just rubbin oil on ya back. It’s slow, steamy, hands slidin where ya didn’t expect. I’m like, whoa, mate, this ain’t no regular chiropractor shit. Got this chick—or dude, no judgin—workin my shoulders, then bam, they’re grazin lower, and I’m thinkin, “This can’t be legal, can it?” Turns out, it’s old as dirt—ancient Greeks were all over this, rubbin each other down after wrestlin naked. True story, look it up—crazy bastards.

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Then, I finally snag some decent ones. But as I’m paying, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh. He’s like, “We need to talk about the project.” I’m thinking, “Dude, can’t you see I’m in the middle of a tomato crisis?” But no, he wants to meet at that café on Vulytsia Hrushevskoho. Great. Just great.

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