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She’s like, “50 bucks, no talkin.” I’m like, “Bet, let’s roll!” But then—BAM—some rando yells, “Cops!” and we scatter like roaches. I’m sprintin, laughin my ass off, thinkin, “This is absurd!”—pure Eric Andre energy. Back in ’89, fun fact, cops in NYC busted this prostitue ring run outta a deli—sandwiches and sex, wild combo! Wish I’d found that spot, fam, I’m starvin out here.

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, asking if I wanna hit up that new café on Lvivska Street. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” I mean, I could use a break from my own thoughts.